I can't walk into a shoe store, mainstream or boutique, without being accosted by gladiator sandals. I see them and all I think about is Russell Crowe.
They are a fad that has lasted way too long. I'm sure many of you reading this own a pair and may be offended by my attack on a harmless shoe style. But let me ask you... don't you think they might just be a little ugly? Doesn't it bother you that everyone and their mother and gay brother is wearing them?
Let's review the various options, shall we?
1. Ugly. I can picture this on a homeless hippie who lost his job because he got arrested for smoking maryjane on the town common.
2. Not so bad. I barely consider this a gladiator shoe.
3. Ugly. Reminds me a parachute harness.
5. I just threw up. This wouldn't even look good on Giselle.
6. I just threw up again
7. Orange, really?
8. Doesn't everyone know that ankle straps like this give everyone a cankle?
9. Turquoise isn't so bad, but again with the cankle-making.
10. If I was held at gunpoint and was forced to wear a gladiator sandal, I'd pick this one.
I mean, look at this. I did a search for "gladiator" and the second most popular search is "gladiator sandals" followed by "gladiator shoes."
That's a sign right there that we need something new to obsess over. I'm open to some ideas... anyone have a good idea for a new trend to overkill???...