Friday, August 21, 2009

Possible TMI situation

I've been trying to cut back on "personal grooming" expenses the past few months, and I'm having a hard time deciding which ones are truly necessary and which ones are frivolous.

For example, pedicures in the Summer are necessary. In the Winter, they are not. Eyebrow waxing is necessary because otherwise I'd have a unibrow (What can I say? They're thick. Some women would DIE for thick eyebrows, or so I'd like to believe.). Massages are a luxury. But the one that I'm really struggling with is waxing *down there*. You know, clearing the runway, etc.

Years ago I got into bikini waxing because it's smoother, lasts longer, I hate shaving, and I truly believe the myth that it grows in thicker when you shave versus wax. Also, it's more "visually appealing" for men (duh). However. Ugh. Here comes the TMI.

TMI #1: I prefer brazilian waxes. Which means everything. Including your um..... butt strip.

TMI #2: I was trying to save some cash this Summer and shaved recently because it was like macheting your way through the jungles of Borneo I couldn't wait any longer and didn't want to spend the $100 to get waxed. Bad, bad BAAAADDD idea.

Now it's growing back all thick and stubbly, which is obviously not attractive at all. And also, it's itchy. So I'm practically walking around scratching myself like I've got balls, and people are thinking that I've either i) got crabs or ii) a yeast infection.

So now I'm wishing I just sprang for the brazilian wax instead of buying a new Summer dress when Summer is nearly over (sadness), and it's almost worst to have itchy stubble down there then be o'natural (that's the second time I've said "o'natural" in like a week and ironically it was also about vag), and now I'm going to stop because I fear that I may have lost you forever.

Tough times in this economy. Tough times indeed.

PS - I took this picture of my toes for two reason. 1) my toenails are like daggers right now because the last time I had them file instead of cut them and that was a mistake. 2) I only noticed at the very moment that I took this shot that my toes are freakish and would not suffice for anyone with a foot fetish. Do you see how my second and third toes are coming out of what looks like one toe? Kind of like two twigs coming off one on larger branch? Ew.

8 comments:

  1. I don't even know where to go with an answer to this one.
    So I'm just gonna say, I love pedis and I wish I could afford to have them all year round instead of just a few weeks out of the summer.
    la sigh

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  2. Holy shit! From a man's point of view I offer the following:

    Fuck the economy. Go for the Brazilian!

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  3. You an never go back after the Brazilian. AND if you want a great mani/pedi on the cheap come on downtown in the Financial District, Maiden Lane $20 mani/pedi all year round on Saturday/Sunday. Ana's Nails :-) There are some things you can not go without.

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  4. try the hair removal cream. use the ultra sensative. its less painful than waxing and feels just as great and you don't get the painful irritation like shaving...

    its also cheaper than waxing

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  5. BE CAREFUL! All these worries directly related to the vacinity of your underwear could turn your pubic hair GRAY!

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  6. Cynthia prefers the jungles of Borneo

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  7. After shaving down there, deodorant (yeah seriously) and gold bond are life savors-the double doze eliminates irritation and itching. Then again, I also do my own mani/pedi so I might just be a cheap jew of grooming...

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