Monday, April 20, 2009

Do my mud flaps look fat?

If you've ever seen the movie Spinal Tap, you know it's completely out there and funny as hell. It's a satire about a rock band that thinks they are hotter than shit. The tagline for the move is "Does for rock and roll what "The Sound of Music" did for hills." I mean, seriously?

Anyway, there's this one song in the movie called "Big Bottoms". My Hubs goes through phases where he sings the lyrics to the song over and over again. This is what he sings:

The bigger the cushion, the sweeter the pushin'
That's what I said
The looser the waistband, the deeper the quicksand
Or so I have read

My baby fits me like a flesh tuxedo
I'd like to sink her with my pink torpedo

Big bottom, big bottom
Talk about bum cakes, my girl's got 'em
Big bottom drive me out of my mind
How could I leave this behind?

I met her on Monday, 'twas my lucky bun day
You know what I mean
I love her each weekday, each velvety cheek day
You know what I mean

My love gun's loaded and she's in my sights
Big game is waiting there inside her tights, yeah

Big bottom, big bottom
Talk about mud flaps, my girl's got 'em
Big bottom drive me out of my mind
How could I leave this behind?

My baby fits me like a flesh tuxedo
I'd like to sink her with my pink torpedo

Big bottom, big bottom
Talk about bum cakes, my girl's got 'em
Big bottom drive me out of my mind
How could I leave this behind?


Recently, in a car ride back from New Jersey on Easter Sunday, we started to argue about what "mud flaps" actually are. The Hubs was like, "it's just a big butt." And I was all, "No way, dude. Mud flaps are like saddle bags, like when the part where your thigh and butt meet is really huge." Nevertheless, we came to an agreement when we saw a lady walking down the sidewalk who *clearly* had mud flaps. This is what I think she would have looked like in a bikini. I guess we were both right.


Happy Monday!

7 comments:

  1. lol @ mudflaps. haha. I've actually never seen spinal tap but i think i'ma add it to my netflix soley based on this entry

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  2. wow, that's equal parts horrifying and hilarious. my favorite recipe for a blog post.

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  3. Christopher Guest is just brilliant. Spinal Tap was the tops for them...but I do like Best in Show too.

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  4. Spinal Tap. I've never seen it, but I've always wante to. This just reinforces that! lol

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  5. What a great conversation. I'll ask the missus what she thinks when I get home. I also intend to work it into this spec I'm writing...

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  6. Oh no. I decided to go to Urban Dictionary and see what it had to say about mud flaps. Wow, what a diverse selection. But one entry did specifically reference this moment in time:

    Sagging butt cheeks with age and weight loss such that a pencil could be held in the crack between back upper thigh and bum. Vastly superior to all alternative definitions for the sheer ubiquity of the phenomena but also because legs are the human equivalent to wheels and human mud flaps are therefore perfect homologues to vehicular ones. Entered Urban lexicon in Spinal Tap's hit Big Bottom in which this second chorus appears...

    Although I think I liked this entry better:
    When a girl has excessive buttocks hanging out of her short shorts. Comparible to the camel toe.

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  7. Holy SHIT that was funny!!! Those asses make mine look smokin'!

    I am printing that shit.

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