Friday, April 17, 2009

Calling all Starbucks whores. And other crap.

You know you're a Starbucks Whore when the barista at your local 'bucks noticed that you got a haircut (and it was only a trim).

This is another one of my "random thoughts and crap" posts. So hang onto your seats folks.

As much as this Consumer Whore stamp is funny, it hits a little close to home. I perpetually have a 'bucks in my hand. I am perpetually on my iPhone (checking email, not talking). I used to have a belly ring. I wish I had a princess crown to wear around. And I walk around with my breasts hanging out all the time.

This morning I saw a random man's dick. I was on my way to work, enjoying the sun and hopeful for a warm day expected to be in the 70's. I look to my right and *WHAM* penis in my face. A man has it just hanging out there, inspecting himself. I'm not sure what he was looking for, but it can't be good. What a great start to my day.

Why does the subway never come when you really need it to? If I'm running late for work: takes like 15 minutes. If I'm casually headed downtown to go shopping: it's practically waiting for me to get there.

Back to Starbucks. Do you ever wonder who does the chalkboard drawings? I very often find myself baffled by this. No matter which location I visit, they drawings are all in the same style and extremely well done. And it's clearly actual chalk on a chalkboard because you can see the old drawings by the faint lines that didn't erase all the way. Here is my conclusion: every city employs it's own "Starbucks chalk drawer" and that person maintains all of the chalkboards for their region. It's the only possibility. Either that, or Starbucks has strict artistic requirements when hiring baristas.

Does anyone else think that Tripp is the dumbest name that Sarah Palin's 17-year old daughter could have chose for her son? I mean, seriously?

If you're really bored at work, here is a great pastime.

Did you see Casino Royale? Well, if you've been a longtime reader of SassyTwoSocks, then you've heard me talk about it before because I would leave my husband for Daniel Craig (just kidding, baby). Well, in the opening scene of the movie there is a great scene where Bond goes on the crazy chase after a guy who is doing what is called "parkour". It originated in France and is basically about crazy people who aren't afraid of dying. But since the movie, it's become a global phenomenom, particularly among teenagers. But know this: parkour is not for everybody. It's only for idiots. But damn, it does give me great blog material:


  1. I've never thought about it but yes, the chalkboards are so very well done. And before I left Birmingham, the local bucks started making my skinny, extra shot, sugar free vanilla latte as soon as I walked in the door. I have a belly ring but have been thinking it's time to let it go. Much like I had to let Starbucks go when I got laid off. BOO

  2. Wait. Did someone mention Starbucks? Can I get a Starbucks? I haven't had a haircut, but can I get a Starbucks???

  3. lol...the comment about the chalk board is hilarious...I've physically been inside a starbucks maybe 4 times in my entire life, and i can actually distinctly remember teh chalk board. :-)

  4. Tripp has it coming, he really does.

    'Don't trip Tripp'

    'Oi Tripp, watch out on those stairs'

    'Did you have a nice trip, Tripp?'

    What happened to the belly ring? Did Hermione eat it?

  5. oh my god, having arm-breaking flash backs as we speak

  6. I love Starbucks. That's always the first place I go when I get to the states... and it's not hard since they're EVERYWHERE.

    I thought these days being a consumer would be considered a good thing...

  7. I'm still kind of hung up on the random guys dick. You people in NYC don't get shaken by that shit, do you??


  8. and yeah, I am TOTALLY a starbucks whore. and proud of it.