Saturday, March 21, 2009

Why muumuus and fat guy hats are not a good long-term life plan

As you may already know, I've been unemployed for almost two weeks. At first I felt like I couldn't relax, because I hadn't accepted an offer yet and I didn't want to feel like a complete lazy person. But now that I've accepted an offer and have gotten many of my projects and errands out of the way, I'm enjoying myself more and more.

There is certainly something to be said for waking up and not caring what day it is. I've also been:
- allowing myself to sleep in as late as I want (which unfortunately hasn't been later than 8am)
- not putting on makeup
- wearing sweatpants all day
- living in Uggs
- not showering until 4pm
- having lengthy conversations with my cats about how cute they are
- having dance parties by myself

This brief work hiatus has made me realize that I could be unemployed forever if money wasn't an issue. It's addicting. It's a whole new level of freedom that I've never known before. For example, as I write this I am sitting at Starbucks on my computer and have been here for 2 hours. There's nothing stopping me from staying or leaving--- I have no appointments today, no pressing issues or errands to deal with. I could just sit here all day if I wanted to. There's a freedom in that.

However, I fear that if I did actually have the luxury of not working ever again, one of two outcomes would unfold. One, I would use my spare time to become a gym rat and would get super buff, would eat healthy, and would totally be a MILF (but I would adopt because I wouldn't want a birth to screw up my new hot body). Two, I would resort to wearing muumuus everyday, would stop shaving my pits and legs, and would spend all my time ordering crap online and through HSN. Here is a preview of this second outcome:


  1. i felt just like that when i was between jobs. at first i was all spazzy about not having a job and beat myself up. then when i found a job i couldn't start for a few weeks and i was able to finally enjoy being off. i thought of it like vaca.

    congrats on the offer! and enjoy yourself!!

    ps, that's one of my fave episodes :D

  2. You could surely do both. Every day go the gym, then order some crap online. Then have a dance party all by yourself. Unless the cats join you.

  3. Umm, I vote for the second one. There is just so much fun in being able to have pit dreads and braided leg just feel so worldly and like you know something that no one else in the world knows.

    Then come over here so I can laugh at ya. ;o)

  4. Congratulations on your job offer. I think there are other options for being unemployed. You could have become an international jewel thief for example.

  5. Dance parties and cat conversations are wonderful things. However, if you find yourself tempted to have a cat tea party...ask for help.