Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Your hand feels like a wet papertowel in my palm

As a woman, I find the common handshake to be somewhat daunting and frustrating.

I am a confident, forward person, and therefore my handshake is too. However, more often than not, I meet men in the business arena who offer me a limp hand to shake. It's like they're offering me a 'finger shake', which defeats the whole purpose of it being called a *HAND*shake, does it not?

It takes everything in me to not return their patronizing offer with a "Nice to meet you and your limp hand... what else is limp, dickhead?" or "It's a pleasure to meet a sexist ass like yourself."

I strongly believe that women should not be offered a handshake any different from that of her male colleagues. Why should I be expected to daintily grasp your hand? Am I too weak? Is this a subtle hint that he sees me as a weaker professional than his male counterparts? That I'm fragile? Frankly, it's insulting. Recently, I've taken to using an even firmer handshake than usual. If I crush the recipients hand in the process, so be it. He deserves it if he isn't prepared to offer me a sturdy, reciprocating handshake.

I think we should start a movement. All of us women should call men out when they don't apply proper pressure during a handshake. We could call ourselves Handshakes for Equality and start a non-for-profit organization associated with it. With my blog's popularity (NOT!) we could start a global campaign, with clubs of women (and gay men) all across the world fighting back again limp hands. It could be a revolution! The next step towards equality! But once people realize that I'll do just about anything to become rich, they'll probably lose interest. I mean, I would whore myself out for $10,000 a night. Who wouldn't?

The irony is that I expect men to hold the door for me and let me off the elevator first. What's wrong with that???

PS - I promise that the Aztec wedding ceremony post is coming. I'm still waiting for pics. And well... you just wouldn't believe me if I didn't have pictures to back it up.

9 comments:

  1. I like a firm handshake too. I don't like it when men let me off the elevator first because then they sort of stand around/get out of the way and it's annoying and a waste of time.

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  2. I have the same pet peeve as well. I have 3 older brothers who taught me the importance of a firm handshake. I agree with your observation about men with week hands!

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  3. Me three. I even hate when women give me the finger shake. WTF?? I'm always tempted to squeeze the hell out of their hand like my brother used to do to me.

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  4. I'm not touching anyone's hand. Especially a man's. Don't you know where that's been??

    I love India..."namaste." No touchy. Beautiful :)

    Your word verification is still on....why?????

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  5. Braja, my persistent little darling, the word verification is off. And if I start getting porno spam, I'm blaming it on you.

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  6. I completely agree- I hate the limp handshake- it just makes me want to squeeze them harder. My dad was always big on having a good, firm handshake- those who go limp need to get a clue!

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  7. Limp handshake limp dick. Oh yeah. I went there.

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  8. I am totally down, but I still think it would be better to knee them in the crotch.

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  9. My wife has a firm handshake and has the same opinion as you, if you are going to shake someone's hand make it count (= a nice firm handshake)

    that being said, as a guy, and as a guy who needs to use his hands to WORK, what's up with guys who literally crush your hand so much you hear bones crunching? I give a firm handshake but I am not having a strenght competition. I feel like saying to them, "Give me a freakin' break, and while you're at it, pick up my fingers you jarhead."

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