Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Your hand feels like a wet papertowel in my palm

As a woman, I find the common handshake to be somewhat daunting and frustrating.

I am a confident, forward person, and therefore my handshake is too. However, more often than not, I meet men in the business arena who offer me a limp hand to shake. It's like they're offering me a 'finger shake', which defeats the whole purpose of it being called a *HAND*shake, does it not?

It takes everything in me to not return their patronizing offer with a "Nice to meet you and your limp hand... what else is limp, dickhead?" or "It's a pleasure to meet a sexist ass like yourself."

I strongly believe that women should not be offered a handshake any different from that of her male colleagues. Why should I be expected to daintily grasp your hand? Am I too weak? Is this a subtle hint that he sees me as a weaker professional than his male counterparts? That I'm fragile? Frankly, it's insulting. Recently, I've taken to using an even firmer handshake than usual. If I crush the recipients hand in the process, so be it. He deserves it if he isn't prepared to offer me a sturdy, reciprocating handshake.

I think we should start a movement. All of us women should call men out when they don't apply proper pressure during a handshake. We could call ourselves Handshakes for Equality and start a non-for-profit organization associated with it. With my blog's popularity (NOT!) we could start a global campaign, with clubs of women (and gay men) all across the world fighting back again limp hands. It could be a revolution! The next step towards equality! But once people realize that I'll do just about anything to become rich, they'll probably lose interest. I mean, I would whore myself out for $10,000 a night. Who wouldn't?

The irony is that I expect men to hold the door for me and let me off the elevator first. What's wrong with that???

PS - I promise that the Aztec wedding ceremony post is coming. I'm still waiting for pics. And well... you just wouldn't believe me if I didn't have pictures to back it up.


  1. I like a firm handshake too. I don't like it when men let me off the elevator first because then they sort of stand around/get out of the way and it's annoying and a waste of time.

  2. I have the same pet peeve as well. I have 3 older brothers who taught me the importance of a firm handshake. I agree with your observation about men with week hands!

  3. Me three. I even hate when women give me the finger shake. WTF?? I'm always tempted to squeeze the hell out of their hand like my brother used to do to me.

  4. I'm not touching anyone's hand. Especially a man's. Don't you know where that's been??

    I love India..."namaste." No touchy. Beautiful :)

    Your word verification is still on....why?????

  5. Braja, my persistent little darling, the word verification is off. And if I start getting porno spam, I'm blaming it on you.

  6. I completely agree- I hate the limp handshake- it just makes me want to squeeze them harder. My dad was always big on having a good, firm handshake- those who go limp need to get a clue!

  7. Limp handshake limp dick. Oh yeah. I went there.

  8. I am totally down, but I still think it would be better to knee them in the crotch.

  9. My wife has a firm handshake and has the same opinion as you, if you are going to shake someone's hand make it count (= a nice firm handshake)

    that being said, as a guy, and as a guy who needs to use his hands to WORK, what's up with guys who literally crush your hand so much you hear bones crunching? I give a firm handshake but I am not having a strenght competition. I feel like saying to them, "Give me a freakin' break, and while you're at it, pick up my fingers you jarhead."