Wednesday, February 18, 2009

second wifedom has its perks

This is a pic of Mr. T and I on our wedding day. Wait... I didn't tell you that I'm a beefy black man and I married a 400-lb. cross dresser? Too bad. It's a good story.

So everyone keeps asking me "How's married life?"

Well, I'll tell you. It feels the same. It feels like two people living together who are obsessed with their two cats, enjoy cooking exotic meals and dream of traveling the world on someone else's dime. I mean, I do occasionally look down at my wedding band and internally scream, "Sweet baby Jesus, I'm married!" But aside from that, it's the same old same old.

It is interesting how everyone expects you to feel different. People are all, "Well, do you *feel* married?" And I'm all, "Not really." And then the conversation dies off into awkward silence, broken only by random references to A-Fraud or how fabulous my hair looks these days. (By the way, I would discuss either of these topics at length with anyone who would listen to me.)

And I'm not just a wife. It's better than that. I'm a *second* wife. Which I've truly deemed to be a blessing. Being a second wife means that a) he was a big jerk to his first wife, but learned a lesson the first time and will do everything in his power to keep you healthy, happy and buzzed on quality wine, or b) he had his heart broken the first time but loves you enough to take the chance of it happening again, and therefore will do everything in his power to keep you healthy, happy and buzzed on decent wine. Either way, the second wife wins. The only other scenario is c) that he is a big jerk, remains a big jerk and will be a big jerk to you, too, in which case you are totally asking for it and he will soon move onto wife number 3. But then you will get husband number two and will therefore treat him well due to either a) or b). You see, it's an endless circle of potential happiness. Why is divorce getting so much bad press again? Cause without it I wouldn't be the second wife, which would totally suck.

But alas, I am the same Sassy girl who wears Two Socks. It's just that now Mr. T has legal rights to one of those socks.

One of these days I need to write something nice and loving about Mr. T since he constantly badgers me about the fact that my blog is an outlet for me to bash him and share those little secrets of his that only I know with the world (Por ejemplo, his man-crush on Tony Bourdain.)

6 comments:

  1. You two make a lovely couple

    No wait. *He* makes a lovely couple, or three; you make a good black man...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yes, I know exactly what you mean. People ask me the same thing, and I answer the same way you do, "The same, nothing's changed" and again, same silence ensues. As my cousin put it so well, "That's cause ya'all lived in sin first."
    Damn that sin!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm confused as to how being married and previously a heartbreaker-or-heartbroken-person makes your husband a good judge of wine. As a single person, am I condemned to drink bad wine? Or must I keep to beer or clear liquors? I just like to understand these things. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  4. I had no idea.... but you still look pretty fine in your pic. ;)

    I hope the husband buys you beer too, though.

    ReplyDelete
  5. At least you're buff.

    I don't think people stopped asking me that for, oh, like 3 months. I was ready to scream! What do you want to know about married life? Huh?

    ReplyDelete
  6. A片,A片,A片,A片,A片,A片情趣商品,情趣用品,情趣用品,情趣,情趣,情趣用品,情趣商品,情趣用品,情趣,情趣,情趣用品,情趣商品,情趣用品,情趣,情趣,情趣用品,,情趣,情趣用品,情趣用品,情趣用品,情趣用品.情趣,情趣,情趣,情趣,視訊聊天室,情趣,情趣用品,情趣,情趣用品,情趣用品,情趣麻將,台灣彩卷,六合彩開獎號碼,運動彩卷,六合彩,遊戲,線上遊戲,cs online,搓麻將,矽谷麻將,明星三缺一, 橘子町,麻將大悶鍋,台客麻將,公博,game,,中華職棒,麗的線上小遊戲,國士無雙麻將,麻將館,賭博遊戲,威力彩,威力彩開獎號碼,龍龍運動網,史萊姆,史萊姆好玩遊戲,史萊姆第一個家,史萊姆好玩遊戲區,樂透彩開獎號碼,遊戲天堂,天堂,好玩遊戲,遊戲基地,無料遊戲王,好玩遊戲區,麻將遊戲,好玩遊戲區,小遊戲,電玩快打情趣用品,情趣,A片,AIO,AV,AV女優,A漫,免費A片,情色,情色貼圖,色情小說,情色文學,色情,寄情竹園小遊戲,色情遊戲,AIO交友愛情館,色情影片,情趣內衣,情趣睡衣,性感睡衣,情趣商品,微風成人,嘟嘟成人網,成人,18成人,成人影城,成人圖片,成人貼圖,成人圖片區,UT聊天室,聊天室,豆豆聊天室 ,哈啦聊天室,尋夢園聊天室,聊天室尋夢園,080苗栗人聊天室,080聊天室,視訊交友網,視訊借錢,黃金,黃金回收,黃金價格,黃金買賣,當舖,中古車,二手車A片,A片,成人網站,成人影片,色情,情色網,情色,AV,AV女優,成人影城,成人,色情A片,日本AV,免費成人影片,成人影片,SEX,免費A片,A片下載,免費A片下載,做愛,情色A片,色情影片,H漫,A漫,18成人,情色電影,自拍,成人電影a片,色情影片,情色電影,a片,色情,情色網,情色,av,av女優,成人影城,成人,色情a片,日本av,免費成人影片,成人影片,情色a片,sex,免費a片,a片下載,免費a片下載,成人網站,做愛,自拍A片,A片,A片下載,做愛,成人電影,18成人,日本A片,情色小說,情色電影,成人影城,自拍,情色論壇,成人論壇,情色貼圖,情色,免費A片,成人,成人光碟18成人,成人聊天室,成人電影,成人圖片,成人貼圖,成人圖片區,成人影片,成人文章,成人小說,微風成人區,成人交友,成人文學,成人漫畫,成人遊戲,免費成人影片 ,成人論壇,愛情公寓,情色,色情網站,情色A片,色情小說,情色文學

    ReplyDelete