Wednesday, January 7, 2009
This is how I feel. I've eaten so much crap, sugar, partially hydrogenated oils, high fructose corn syrup, vast quantities of cheese and cheese products, that I've started dreaming about giant cookie heads yelling at me to STOP THE MADNESS!!!
Even my kitties are starting to look yummy. The more crap you eat, the more you want. It's a vicious cycle really. I'm convinced this is the single reason that McDonald's is so successful. That, and I'm convinced they lace their fountain sodas with cocaine.
Every year, starting with Thanksgiving, I give in and eventually eat whatever I want for an entire month. Yeah, I spend a few days trying to be good after the Turkey Day feast, but then it all goes to hell in a basket full of donuts. There's no turning back after that first day that a co-worker brings in sugar cookies. Until you put on your favorite pair of jeans in the New Year and realize they don't fit any more. There's stretching where they shouldn't be and you kinda feel like there's a ferret in your pants, taking up extra room. But then you realize it's your ass.
Maybe it was the entire tub of dip I ate with those potato chips? Or the 2 lb. block of cheese that I ingested with my pinot noir? Or that half of a giant raspberry tart that the family friend made from scratch with 6 sticks of butter? Well, now they are all sitting on my ass like the Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderful, laughing at me, point and humming a cheery little tune. No one can see him but me. He's a wiley little sucker. If I were the Queen of Hearts, I would totally go all "Off with his head!" on his ass. In fact, my ass kinda looks like hers right now.
at 9:33 AM
Posted under my ass looks like two racoons stuck in a gunny sack