Thursday, December 10, 2009

Tim Burton and I may be soulmates

I've always been into very macabre artistry, like Edward Gorey and Tim Burton. I don't know why. Perhaps it's because everyone has a dark side that wants to get out? Or perhaps not, and I'm just messed up?

It's funny because I can't even throw a gum wrapper on the ground for fear of bad karma, but I delight in reading Edward Gorey's Gashlycrumb Tinies, about a class of schoolchildren dying in various ways.

I recently visited the MoMa where there is an extensive Tim Burton exhibit, ranging from movie costumes (Edward Scissorhands, Beetlegeuse, among others), to sketchbook drawings, to paintings and sculptures. It was amazing and I feel like I need to go again just to take it all in. I have fallen in love with the miniseries Stain Boy of his. It's sick and twisted, and yet cute at the same time. Is that possible?

Here's a little viewing of Stain Boy for you:

There are many more of these if you fall in love like I did... just head to YouTube.

Feel free to comment and tell me how fucked up I am. I won't take it personally... promise.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

A great way to start my day...

Don't ask me why this prompted me to post for the first time in a month. Cause I have no answer for you...

Let me set the stage for this morning's traumatic event.

This morning I woke up exhausted. Couldn't sleep. No idea why. About once a week, I sleep like shit cause my mind is reeling and nothing I do (read, watch tv, count backwards) seems to help. So I wake up, after falling asleep at 3 or 4am) super groggy and tired. As usual, the cats are eager for breakfast and are mewing up a storm.

I realize I'm a complete a-hole. I was supposed to work from home today because I have a mid-day doctor appointment, but I left my laptop at work the night before. So I have two options: 1) Get showered and dressed, go into work for an hour or two, then leave the office early for the doctor's appointment and afterward work from home for the afternoon, or 2) Put on my giant sunglasses and gym clothes, and trudge to the office before anyone else gets there, snag the laptop and make it home in time for my early phone meeting. I choose option 2.

I'm in my already worn, nasty gym clothes and sunglasses that cover half my face, walking to Starbucks. Because there's no way I can face the day, tired and heading to the OBGYN (fun times), without caffeine. I get my fix and an eye roll from the cashier and I'm headed to the subway station. It's 7:15 in the morning, early, but still enough people around for it not to be entirely deserted. I'm groggily strolling along, sipping my iced tea, annoyed that I have to go into the office, WHEN.................


At least I think (or hope) he's dead before he hits the ground...

He falls hard and fast, with a thud and a slight crunch. I say, "OH FUCK" out loud and just stand there for what felt like 30 seconds but was probably 1. I turn around and a woman is about 10 feet behind me but is looking at her phone and hasn't seen the poultry falling from the sky.

It's not a large bird, just your average small bird, but I'm amazed at how hard it lands. His wings aren't splayed, his feet aren't mangled, he's just in a tight little bundle, like a chicken nugget, or how I would imagine him sitting on a branch, scoping out the lady birds. I look up, expecting to see the tree that it fell out of. But all I see is 30 stories of stark cement buildings. No foliage of any kind. Where could this little guy have come from??? (I don't know why I assume it's a boy, but I just do...)

I quickly come to the conclusion that either a) god is punishing me and is raining dead animals down on me, b) the swine flu has migrated to birds, or c) the bird flew into a window, knocked himself out (poor guy), and fell to his death, nearly taking me out with him.

I'm still freaking out at the fact that this *THING* with a sharp beak and mini-dagger-claws fell from the sky with the downward speed of a rocket and nearly landed on me. I don't care if he hit my head, my arm or my Starbucks, I literally don't know what I would have done if he made contact with me. I guess there's a chance that I could have been knocked out. Which probably would have been for the best, because honestly, I think I would completely lose my shit. Flailing around. Screaming. Shaking the dead birdiness off of me. Jeeeesus.

I'm definitely a bit traumatized by my run in with death this morning. Regardless of the fact that it was probably Darwin's theory of evolution at work.

R.I.P. Little Birdie.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Friday, October 2, 2009

Parkour! done wrong

I nearly pissed myself when I saw this.

Do any of you know the movie House of 1,000 Corposes, directed by Rob Zombie? It was his first movie (and unfortunately, his worst) and the kid who played Fishboy was Dwight! Who knew that Rob Zombie discovered Dwight...

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Where's Sassy???

Honestly, I have no idea.

Mr. T says I don't *write* anything on my blog anymore. That I merely post obscene pictures and cat videos. To that I say, eff off. You try and work a bazillion hours a week, keep your fat ass in shape, be a wife, a good cat-mommy, AND blog about cool shit!!!!

Ok, it *IS* possible. I think.

So the real question is: Where *IS* Sassy??? (I'm picturing Where's Waldo? from when I was a kid).

So the answer is... I'm trying to find some sense of balance in my life and not doing a great job at it. My work life is insane, though I do love my job and coworkers, almost to the point of a cult-ish obsession, (so I can't complain too much there). I am struggling to get exercise in, which I need more for my sanity and destressing then for vanity reasons (even though my ass is a *titch* larger these days). Why is it so hard to find balance?

I feel like I need a bit of zen in my life right now. Some cool cucumbers on my eyes. A soft breeze on my face. A deep foot rub. And some new clothes (cause doesn't a new outfit always make you feel better?) Maybe I'll buy one of those miniature zen gardens for my office... you know, the little black box with the stones and rake. I never quite got those things... the only fun part was drawing perverted symbols in the sand and seeing if your co-workers would notice (which they usually didn't.... losers.)

So now you know. I'm pretty much in shambles. Ok, well that's a bit of an exaggeration. But you know where I'm headed with this. I could use some advice for finding time to do all the things you need *AND* want to do in your life.

Yours truly,
Forever Sassy

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Keep fucking that chicken!

New York newscaster on live tv...

Monday, September 14, 2009

What kind of idiot sprays themselves with deer piss?

I recently saw a clip of two deers attacking each other on TV. I've always thought of deer as sweet, docile animals. You know, like Bambi. I never took the time to think about how they would defend themselves when threatened. I mean, they don't have big fangs to bite with, or a long tail to thrash with, or claws to shred with. Some of them have antlers, but that's beside the point.

When I saw a deer actually fighting, I laughed so hard I nearly peed myself.

When a deer is fighting, it stands up on it's hind legs and thrashes its front hooves up and down really quickly. Kind of like how you''d picture a really wimpy person flailing their arms in front of them to defend themselves, except without hooves.

Then Mr. T told me about an episode of "When Animals Attack" that he'd seen years and years ago, about some IDIOT! who sprayed himself with female deer pee and then proceeded to get shredded by a male deer because he was pissed off when he realized that this hunter was not a female in heat. I don't blame the deer, frankly. It's kinda like thinking you're about to get laid and then getting blue-balled instead.

And while I searched for the When Animals Attack video, I came across this one, of a 6-legged deer, and it broke my heart. Seriously, I've deeply saddened right now.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

I l-l-l-l--l-l-ove you too!

This just made my day. You need to watch it to the end because the cereal box cat might be the best part of this...

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Just passin' you on through....

Today I'm just going to share a website with you that you may love, hate or both. I personally find it semi-revolting and yet I can't look away...

People of Walmart

Monday, August 31, 2009

These toes weren't made for walkin'...

Apparently, my toes are freakish. Remember that pic of my branch-like 2nd/3rd toes? Well, my coworkers are now referring to it as the "chicken-toe". Fun times.

Here's another toe-related ha-ha (at my expense... as usual) for you:

The ladies buy a lot of shoes and clothes in my office, from sites like,,, and have them shipped to the office so all the ladies can ooh and ahh over them. It's also convenient because if something doesn't fit, you can be sure that it'll fit someone else, so we end up just buying stuff form each other. One of the girls ordered a ridiculously hot pair of Rock & Republic pumps that were just a bit too small for her. Fortunately for me, they were just my size. Sah-weet! A fab pair of new shoes and it's like they just appeared! Whilst I pranced around my office in the 7" heels, something didn't quite feel right. I looked down and the pinky toe on my left foot had popped out of side of the shoe, darting out at a freakish angle. I pulled it back in, starting to walk again, and... Oops! there is goes again. The more I walked, the more it kept popping out. And the more it popped out, the more I realized that it looked like a deformed appendage. I realized very quickly, as the smile was falling off my face, that I could in no way wear these shoes with a toe "issue" such as this --- the second someone looked down at my feet they would notice the ridiculously not shoes, in all of their glorious yellow and snakeskin leather, and then I'd see the recognition in their face as they wondered what the hell happened down there... While all of this was spinning through my head, I continued to watch as my coworkers cringed in horror at the pinky toe with a mind of its own (apparently one that doesn't like designer shoes at discount prices).

It goes without saying, that I DID NOT buy the shoes off of my coworker. She will be sending them back. What a sad, sad story.

Well, here it is...

And a bit closer....

And the zoom shot of my little piggy who went to the crazy-toe market and didn't like the shoes... what a jerk.

Go ahead, laugh. Why else would I share this with you...???

PS - Shoe me some designer love...

...if you are interested in any of the sites I shop at, please use these invite links as it'll give me a referral bonus. Love ya, biatches!

Gilt Group
Rue La La

Haute Look

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Burrito dreams and carbhydrate rainbows

I'm so hungry. I think today is my crash day on this "raw cleanse" death by starvation detox that I chosen to do. I'm having a hard time remembering why I decided to do it in the first place right now.

All of my a-hole coworkers decided it was burrito-cart day and brought back giant burritos with "crack sauce" (that's really what it is called), and it smells so good in here I want to eat the air right now. Douchebags.

On a random note, have you ever wondered why that horrible Britney Spears movie, Crossroads, is always on tv on some channel that you've never heard of? Every single time I channel surf I inevitably stumble across it. If you haven't seen it, it's almost worth it just to sit there the whole time and grimace at her ineptitude for acting.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Aren't we all a bit of a masochist?

The visit with Mother and Aunt went well. Sad to see them go home (if only for the reason that it means I had to go back to work again).

Today is not only Tuesday, it is the second day of my 5-day "raw cleanse". For 5 entire days I'm eating nothing but uncooked fruits, veggies and a few nuts. Sounds crazy. Hence, the title of this post. I am doing it for two reasons: 1) the obvious, weight loss, and 2) because I've just felt "off" lately–like I'm saturated with the crap that I put into my body, like alcohol, sugar, vats of mac'n'cheese, mashed potatoes, bread.... GOOOOOOOD, I'm getting hungry writing that.

So I am guaranteed to be crabby and bitchy all week. My poor friends and family. At least I've forewarned them.

On a happier note, I saw the infamous He-Man this weekend while in a cab driving down 9th Avenue, at about 46th Street. It was my first sighting of the superhuman man who walks around shirtless and beefy. It was a very exciting moment for me.

Ok. I'm going to go eat an apple. :-(

Friday, August 21, 2009

Possible TMI situation

I've been trying to cut back on "personal grooming" expenses the past few months, and I'm having a hard time deciding which ones are truly necessary and which ones are frivolous.

For example, pedicures in the Summer are necessary. In the Winter, they are not. Eyebrow waxing is necessary because otherwise I'd have a unibrow (What can I say? They're thick. Some women would DIE for thick eyebrows, or so I'd like to believe.). Massages are a luxury. But the one that I'm really struggling with is waxing *down there*. You know, clearing the runway, etc.

Years ago I got into bikini waxing because it's smoother, lasts longer, I hate shaving, and I truly believe the myth that it grows in thicker when you shave versus wax. Also, it's more "visually appealing" for men (duh). However. Ugh. Here comes the TMI.

TMI #1: I prefer brazilian waxes. Which means everything. Including your um..... butt strip.

TMI #2: I was trying to save some cash this Summer and shaved recently because it was like macheting your way through the jungles of Borneo I couldn't wait any longer and didn't want to spend the $100 to get waxed. Bad, bad BAAAADDD idea.

Now it's growing back all thick and stubbly, which is obviously not attractive at all. And also, it's itchy. So I'm practically walking around scratching myself like I've got balls, and people are thinking that I've either i) got crabs or ii) a yeast infection.

So now I'm wishing I just sprang for the brazilian wax instead of buying a new Summer dress when Summer is nearly over (sadness), and it's almost worst to have itchy stubble down there then be o'natural (that's the second time I've said "o'natural" in like a week and ironically it was also about vag), and now I'm going to stop because I fear that I may have lost you forever.

Tough times in this economy. Tough times indeed.

PS - I took this picture of my toes for two reason. 1) my toenails are like daggers right now because the last time I had them file instead of cut them and that was a mistake. 2) I only noticed at the very moment that I took this shot that my toes are freakish and would not suffice for anyone with a foot fetish. Do you see how my second and third toes are coming out of what looks like one toe? Kind of like two twigs coming off one on larger branch? Ew.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

So you want your cake and want to do what to it too?!?

My sister-in-law, let's call her Bunnles (I'll explain the name later), found this personal ad taped to a phone booth in Hell's Kitchen. It is SOOOOO good that she tore it down and pulled it out of her handbag while we were chatted over margaritas the other day. Just in case you can't read the pictures, here is what is says:


I'm a 39-year old single black male looking to date highly-attractive single white & Hispanic women with long blonde and/or red hair, beautiful legs, face and body (must be big-chested) between the age of 21 to 45. Also, must be independent, career minded, smart, non-smoker, drinks occasionally, into going to movies & nightclubs, enjoy listening to hip-hop, house, dance, freestyle, techno & disco music (+ a little reggae tone), listen to KTU (103.5 FM) on an everyday basis, must be promiscuous (in other words... must be into swinging!), be a great kisser, into threesomes (2 gals & 1 guy) & foursomes (3 gals & 1 guy), into looking smokin'-hot, wearing mini-skirts, daisy-dukes, & spiked heels (5-6 inches), drug & disease free (safe sex minded), willing to take turns paying on dates (no gold diggers), have long fingernails, must be a big New York Rangers fan (must love hockey!), into roller (inline) & ice skating, & playing video games. Also must be a N.Y. Mets fan + love the color RED!

But please no:

She males
Cross dressers
(in other words... "BE REAL!!!")

So if interested please call me, Malik Turner at ....
All 5 boros & Long Island can respond.

Oh really?! Malik really knows what he wants. And I guess that's not a bad thing. But this guy is going to spend his entire life looking for someone who a) either doesn't exist, or b) is so similar to himself that he'll end up fucking the female version of himself (which frankly, I think too many men would love). This is the most ridiculous personal ad I've ever seen. Ladies - if you wear 4" heels, you're out. If you live in New Jersey - you're out. If you do not have blonde and/or red hair (why the "and"? that sounds like a horrible dye job!) - you're out. If you aren't into sharing your man with other people in the bedroom - you're out. If you don't listen to KTU on AN EVERYDAY BASIS - you're out. If you don't look good in daisy-dukes, you're out. Come on!

What I can say for this guy... is that he's got excellent punctuation. Koudos, Malik. At least you're doing something right.

Feel free to call him and see if you make the cut. We did. And apparently he doesn't like Russian women who prefer to shave rather than wax... darn it to hell.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Who wants a spanking?

So I'm guessing that no one is *really* all that interested in hearing the detail of my dysfunctional family, cause honestly WHO'S FAMILY ISN'T EFFED UP?! You all have enough of your own, so why do you need to hear about mine?

Instead, let's move onto bigger and better things!

Look - my cat likes cantaloupe!

Ok, no one cares about that either.

Tomorrow will knock your socks off though, all two of them, with the most insanely insane personal ad I've ever seen.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Mother is back in town. Oh god.

In a few mere days my my mother is back in NYC for her semi-annual visit. My aunt is coming with her. Last time the both of them were visiting a lot happened. Por ejemplo:

1. My mother and my sister got matching foot tattoos. My aunt also got one, but on her calf. I opted to sit that one out.

(Clearly my sister and I both get our stubby, fat feet, from my father. Thanks a lot, D.)

2. While Mr. T demonstrated his "mad dance skillz" (notice the quotation marks) my aunt thought it would be funny to straddle him like a horse whilst slapping him in the ass to make him go faster... my sister clearly felt the need to point out the fact that the situation was awkward awesome.

3. I had to pay $600 to have my awesome red couch professionally steam cleaned...

This is the only decent pic of my couch that I can find, and it happens to have my mother and Hermione in it. Awwwwww.

Lest you think we're a dysfunctional family, I will elaborate.... tomorrow. ;-)

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Revenge of the plastic people! BEWARE!

Bad plastic surgery is like a train wreck. You can't look away, no matter how disgusting, hideous or horrific it is. And that is why when I came across this article by the Daily News I HAD to share it with you.

Though I must warn you that these are not for the feint of heart. These people make Pam Andersen and Dolly Parton look good!

Katie Price (aka Jordan) is a British lingerie model and reality show star. Um, what are you English people thinking indulging this She-ra wannabe????

Why is the "Michael Jackson" nose disorder a family trait? Mean? Perhaps. But true.

Why does bad plastic surgery look even uglier on men? Is it because they are supposed to age gracefully? And salt-n-pepper hair and a few crows feet are supposed to look sexy (aka. Richard Gere)?

Another perfect example. I mean who are these people going to? Aren't they supposed to be the richest and most famous people in the world? You'd think that they could afford a surgeon who knows what they're doing. I mean, who would continue to do surgery on these people! I could go on a tirade right now... but I will spare you.

ANOTHER British model, this time a lingerie model. What is it with you people?? Ok, if I were a guy, MAYBE I'd want to hit this shit just to see what it was like. Honestly, she should be more ashamed of her outfit than her bad boob implants.

Why do people who've had plastic surgery go to all lengths to lie about it? Octo-mom swears she's never had ANY work done. Uh-huh. And you're not crazy either...

Ok, so she's kinda normal. But how did she get her boobs into the dress without her nipples showing? Impressive.

I'm leaving the scariest for last. Truly this gives me nightmares. She calls herself the Catwoman, and is a socialite who has reportedly spent $4m on surgeries. Seriously, I have no words.

That's it for Plastic People Wednesday! Now go look in the mirror and tell yourself you're beautiful... cause you are.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Am I naked obsessed?

Why is it that my last few posts have all been about nudeness, nakedness, giant vaginas or super-sized boobs??? There seems to be an unintentional theme starting here...

Alas, this is why you're here in the first place... cause I'm a big perv AND YOU LOVE IT! Don't lie to yourself.

So, I'm back. Don't mark my words or anything but starting today you have my promise that I'll post something every other day at a minimum. (But I can't promise that some of them won't be stupid pictures or videos, like what occurred during my "lazy video phase of May 2009").

And yes, I am scared of sewing machines. Despite my mother having shown me how to use a sewing machine several DOZEN times throughout my childhood, I seem to have repressed those memories as I find them to be needly, stabbing machines of death. Scary shit.

Stay tuned... tomorrow is Plastic People Day!!!

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Who you callin' a big vag?

I walk by these advertisements EVERY SINGE DAY in the subway on my way to work.

What does this remind you of?

And this?

These next few I took with my iPhone this morning because I can't find them all ANYWHERE on the Web... even with my superior Google abilities...

Are you having flashbacks of coming out of your mother's womb yet?

There's nothing quite like giant 20-foot posters depicting vaginas at 8 AM...

Honestly though, I love this campaign. It's very o'natural. Plus it makes me want a martini for breakfast. MMMM mmmm MMMM!

Good work, Absolut, good work.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Do you worry that your breasts take too much of a beating every day?

I share this with you for no reason other than to show you what a set of G breasts look like when running with no bra on... CLICK HERE

I feel a little inadequate because I'm pretty sure my breasts would not look this good bouncing around. I feel like I have to test this out by running naked in front of the mirror because this looks like only her nipples are moving.

Monday, July 20, 2009

I SEE NUDE PEOPLE!!!... or is it sick people?

This weekend my husband, Mr. T, informed that if he ever has the opportunity to director a porno, it would be "The Sexth Sense". It would be about a guy who sees nude people having sex at locations where risque acts have been performed all around NYC. E.g. a park bench, an elevator, the back of a taxi, the top of the Empire State Building, and so on. While I agree that this would make for a great porn flick, I have to believe that someone has already done it, as most mainstream movies become a porno in some fashion. E.g. Crouching Tiger Hidden Pussy. Great name, I know.

So, I was super sick last week, and my dad thinks it was swine flu. No joke. Oh, and it is important to tell you that my dad is a doctor so he's not just some hypochondriac of a father who is trying to freak me out and therefore keep me closer to the "nest". I had a viral infection that started with congestion, headache, fever, achiness and exhaustion which lasted 2-3 days. Isn't it the worst when every inch of your body hurts to touch? Like even your scalp is tender and your clothes cause discomfort? Awful. Because I've been so crazy with work and stressed out, I think my immune system was low, so it turned into a bacterial infection and I was miserable, with a cough, sinus pressure, headache. To put it bluntly, my snots were neon yellow on the 5th day - never a good sign. To top it all off, last week might have been my busiest week in months so I was still in the office 11 hours or more each day. So my dad called me in a Z-pack. It might as well be called a Z-it-could-cure-Laura-Flynn-Boyle's-anorexia-Pack. It's *that* good.

While I'm not opposed to taking drugs when I need to, I usually do so as a last resort. I'd rather allow my body to fight it off naturally if it can. Even though I was miserable last week it wasn't until the 4th day that I caved and bought Non-Drowsy Sudafed, which let me tell you, is like drinking 10 cups of coffee. It's a miracle. And then I only got on antibiotics when absolutely necessary. I've heard too many stories of people building up immunities to antibiotics and then they die because the Z-pack won't work anymore. That would suck.

So now I'm "better" but still don't feel 100%. How bullshit is that? It's Day 10 and I'm not feeling great yet? It's amazing how when you combine stress and a virus it takes you down hard. Those damn, sneaky little buggers.

And the real kicker is that I'm not one of those people who loses their appetites when they're sick. The least I could get out of these horrible last 10 days is to have lost 5 lbs!!! But NOOOOOO, I crave comfort food when I'm sick, so now I'm still tired, practically have permanent bags under my eyes, AND I've gained 5 lbs. Kiss my ass, germs.

Sassy's tip of the day***: Growing up with a father for a doctor, I consider myself to be well informed in the area of diagnostics. If you have a cold and you're not sure if you need antibiotics yet, here is how you know: if your snots are yellow *during* the day. I say this because if they are yellow in the morning when you wake up, but then clear up during the day - you're probably fine to wait it out. If they are still yellow after your initial morning nose-blowing, then you have a bacterial infection. The darker the yellow the worse you are. You can thank me later.

***DISCLAIMER: Sassy is not a doctor, even though her dad is. And just because she thinks she knows everything, she probably doesn't. Take her advice, and pretty much anything else she says, at face value and know that it's probably a load of shit.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Meatheads, the lotto and asian porn

I saw this video today and couldn't stop cracking up. You know what I call these guys? Goombas.

They HAVE to be from New Jersey.

The other day I was thinking about the lottery and how no one really considers buying lotto tickets until the pot is over a million dollars. They're like, "Oooh, the lottery is up to $113M! I *have* to get a ticket!" Is $99M not enough for you? Why wait until it's that high? Cause I would take $1M, $5M or even $75M if all I had to do was buy a few measly $2 ticket. Seriously.

Oh, I finally remembered why I kept teasing you with Asian porn promises. (Another good potential blog name: Asian Porn Promises.)

I heard that China is putting blocks on all computers being imported in their country or built within the country so that porn cannot be watched on the Internet in China. How fucked up is that?!?! Taking away a citizens right to watch porn is the last straw in my opinion. I mean, let them dictate how many kids I can have, and let them tell me how to live my life... but *DON'T* let them take my porn away. Cause isn't that one of the few things that gets a communist through their day? The ability to watch an occasional sweaty orgy or lesbian butt-plus scene to get you through the night... It's just plain wrong.

China also started blocking Google and YouTube. What is the world coming to?

I'll leave you with this. This poor 22-year-old guy died after falling into a vat of hot boiling chocolate at a factory in New Jersey. Now I am not making fun of this. It sucks. It's sad. But honestly, I can't help but thinking that there are much worse ways to go if you're gonna die. At least your last few moments in this world are being fully immersed in chocolately, tasty goodness. Brings a whole new meaning to "death by chocolate".

allowscriptaccess="always" allownetworking="all" allowfullscreen="true"

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Wine and cupcakes

Should that be the new name of my blog? Cause wine and cupcakes are just divine!

This was my night last night. Work has been so crazy lately, but it's all good. Last night, while I stayed late at work, I drank Pinot Grigio (not my #1 choice) and ate a homemade cupcake with coconut frosting. Mmm mmm good. What is better? Nothing. Except not getting a fat ass.

I moved the setup of my office around today. Very exciting stuff. It's like a whole new world in here. Love. It.

My kitten Tonks seems to be growing. But not in the right places. While her cute body continues to get bigger, her little head stays the same size. Poor thing is starting to look like that character with the shrunken head in the waiting room in the movie Beetlegeuse.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Go ahead. Laugh at me. It's okay.

Yesterday I wore my husband's jeans to work. I've been stealing them lately because 1) I realized I could fit into them, and 2) they are super comfy, like sweatpants. Plus, isn't there something sexy about wearing your man's pants?

Yet he continues to not comprehend my interest in his clothing. I'm thinking about starting to borrow his buttondown shirts and wear them with skinny jeans. Hot, right?

So anyway, here is me in my office in Mr. T's jeans. When I say "laugh away at me" it's because I'm so un-photogenic that I tend to make stupid faces in every picture (hence the body shot with no head being first). The last one is my attempt at trying to look like a normal person.

Strike a pose.

Giddy-up. (look at those tummy roles!)

See, what did I tell you?

I'm trying... I really am...

Who's a bad mutha???

PS - if you read Love Maegan... you'll know that I totally stole her one-leg-up pose. But they say copying is a compliment, right??