Saturday, December 6, 2008

oh, facebook... you so silly, Part I (also, J-Lo's hand-puppet dance)

Facebook is getting ridiculous. So much so that this is going to be a 3-part post. (Partly because I don't believe in ridiculously long posts--- when I have to read long posts I want to shoot myself in the head, but also partly because it's so out of control that I need to parse out my thoughts).

Facebook--- our tangled history:
About 3 or 4 years ago, I despised Facebook, Friendster, and even more so, MySpace (because hairy, european men started stalking me). Then I grew to love Facebook because all my highschool friends were joining, and it was like a virtual awkward love fest. Then I started updating my status regularly, because it was all the rage, and reading my friends' statuses. Then I started competing to have as many friends as possible, until I realize I was competing with myself, so that was no fun because there was no one to smacktalk to. Now I have a love/hate relationship with the big FB. I rely on it. Yet I despise it. Let the ranting begin.

Part I--- advertisements:
For Part I, let's start with the advertisements. It's the least funny, and I like to think I'm funny, so let's get it out of the way.

It's like facebook "knows" me. A little too well. When I bought tickets to the Sex in the City movie from fandango, it knew!!! and automatically posted it to my profile! WTF! Scary!

I got engaged a few months back, and now all I get are wedding ads. And what the hell is up with this groom leaping into the air with one arm on his hip!? He looks like he belongs in Cirque du Soleil:

And what the hell is this? What does a 3-day super sale have to do with a dog balancing perfume on its nose?! However, if Macy's was going to offer circus animal tricks while I shopped, maybe a cute monkey to follow me around, that would be a huge draw for me:

Although lately, they must be gearing up for my "usual" holiday weight gain, because I'm getting ads like this one. Does anyone else think this is just plain whacked out!?!? And this totally looks like Nicole Richie with Eva Mendes' hair and Cindy Crawford's mouth and bronze tan... does it not??

Mmmm-K! Whatev.

Facebook, you're really getting on my last nerve with these nonsensical, invasive, and perverse ads!!!

In conclusion, please stop stalking me.

Thank you very much.

This is so asinine that it really deserves its own post, but I'm relegating it to THE DAILY SASS because it's related to J-Lo and Ben Affleck. This is seriously ridiculous. You are forewarned. (The first video is just to provide context to the second one.)


  1. I'm with you on the long posts. I'm all like "what the crap" and stuff.

  2. I love that episode of South Park. So gross. Almost as bad as when Cartman makes Scott Tennenman eat his parents.

  3. There is a function for facebook ads where you can say click to say that it is objectionable. I click on that no matter what the ad is for and when it asks why it is objectionable I pick "pornographic content".

    Take THAT real estate ads!

  4. Twitter. MySpace. Facebook. I'm showing my age cuz I refuse to go beyond the safe little place in my head where the voices keep me company and tell me not to go there.

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  6. I have a love hate relationship with FB too!!!!! Seriously, we are grown ass people, do we really need to send each other lattes and throw snowballs and give each other flare????!!! At first I was all into it, and now, it's just annoying. I haven't noticed the ads though, I'm kinda scared now to go look.....

  7. I actually get the same celebrity diet ads...maybe Facebook knows me better than I imagined.