Monday, December 15, 2008

Freakish cat not happy until all humans are alive and mobile

Here is our typical nighttime routine:

[9:35 PM] I brush my teeth. Cat sits on bed, stares at me. She knows what time it is. It's Bedtime Treatsie Time. Her favorite time.

[9:45 PM] I break the little tails off of the fish-shaped treats, and give them to Baby Tonks. I feed Hermy the bodies, one by one, by hand, and giggle while I listen to the crunch, crunch, crunch of chewing.

[9:47 PM] Treats are gone. Cats bound away, joyously digesting dry little nuggets.

[9:50 PM] I read my book.

[10:30 PM] I fall asleep before Mr. T comes to bed.

[3:50 AM] Cats chasing each other across the bed!!! Around. And around. And around. Baby Tonks chasing her tail... on my back. I hide under the covers and wait.

[4:00 AM] Cat sitting on rug next to bed. Stares like Batman. Silently. Watching.

[4:10 AM] Cats jumping on my head!!! Chasing. Around and around. Up and down. Bounding.

[4:30 AM] Mr. T shuts them out of bedroom. Door doesn't latch all the way.

[5:30 AM] DONK! DONK! DONK! Awake to repeated thudding. Cat is throwing herself against door. Over and over. Lots of mewing.

[6:00 AM] Door finally opens. Up and down, across my face, jumping, chasing. Yelps, meows, and screams!!! Vocals get louder and louder!!!

[6:30 AM] I get up to feed them. Hopefully tie them over and get another hour of sleep.

[7:00 AM] Mr. T gets up. Drinks caffeine. Checks email. Lots of meowing and leg rubbing on other side of apartment. Away from bedroom. Ahhhh. Sleepy-time.

[7:15 AM] Daddy is not enough. Must have both parents. Back to bedroom. More chasing, jumping, mewing. Mommy trying to sleep.

[7:30 AM] Mommy gives in. Gets up. Grumpy. Meowing and leg rubbing in kitchen.

[7:45 AM] Both cats fall fast asleep. Pleased. Both parents are awake. Exhausted from a long night.

No joke. It sucks.

THE DAILY SASS: This is truly one of my favorites. It reflects my life all too well, except Hermy's meows are much more desperate and howling-like.


  1. Do you have any idea what it's like when your cat is so CO-DEPENDENT that having an overnight bedfellow means a night of constant mewing as well as no sleep for all?!?

  2. This is exactly why I don't have a cat. Dogs just snore along with ya.
    Well, that and I'm highly allergic.

  3. Yeah but dog's farts STINK. I am glad I have neither. I love cats, but this reminds me why I shouldn't do it again....:)

  4. My cat, Monsieur Inkey, desperately needed us to wake up. He would howl, tap us with his paw and jump on our bladder until we got up. As soon as we were up he would go back to sleep. I miss his wake up calls. Alarm clocks are not as much fun or fluffy.

  5. I'm with Devil's Heaven- get a dog. Only,I have to say, they not only snore but often take up the entire bed. Okay, I changed my mind, go with the cats.

  6. My childless friends with cats, I believe, know the pain of sleep deprivation, like those of us who've taken care of infants and toddlers. You will be well prepared if and when you ever decide to have kids. When my kids are raised, I am NOT getting a cat. I need some sleep!

    (Cute visuals, btw...)

  7. Ok, but the real question is this: Does your cat wake you up every weekend morning by walking across your fact at 7am? No? I'm jealous. ;)

  8. These cats need to get a job and stop freeloading.

  9. That? Is one of the many reasons I don't do cats.