Tuesday, December 2, 2008

[click here] if you want to nail a hippie chick; oh, and Daniel Craig has rocked my world (again)

DISCLAIMER: Let me just say that I am no hippie. So this is not a step by step plan to get into my pants. I have no problem with hippies, but I find dreadlocks and hairy armpits disgusting. Oh, and pachouli makes me want to throw up. However, my parents used to be oober-hippies. My mom was the first one to burn her bra in highschool, and my dad grew his own weed. When I was born, we lived in the middle of Vermont with no electricity, my mom churned her own butter, I was forced to eat lots of tofu and carob, I drove a tractor at the age of 2, and my dad had a beard down to his bellybutton. THANK GOD they wised up and moved to civilization (Western Massachusetts) when I was 3 years old. I think in some twisted way this upbringing (though I don't remember much) is what brought me to NYC, where I belong, because I fit in so much better with other materialists, fashionistas, and assorted snobs.

But for those of you who dig a little extra hair or flair, this if for you. Got granola fever? Well, rest assured, I'm here to help. If you want to learn how to "get horizontally tangled with a sexy flower child", read on.

I've boiled it down for you:

1. "Be one" with the hippie. You must become one to bang one.

2. Start listening to Jam Bands or any sort of music that incorporates a lot of hand drumming.

3. Talk about every music festival that you went to over the summer and how awesome it were (even if you didn't go to any).

4. Become a raging liberal, teetering on the edge of communism.

5. Change your college major to Environmental Sciences or Ancient Eastern Philosophy and become a registered member of World Wildlife Fund.

6. Make sure that you always have lots of drugs (of varying kinds).

7. Buy a weird looking dog and give it a really strange name.

8. Start playing Ultimate Frisbee, and stop wearing shoes.

I think this about sums it up. I hope all of my hippie-chick-pining fans out there are happy.

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HOTTIE ALERT!!!
And on a completely unrelated note, I saw the new James Bond movie this weekend, Quantum of Solace. HOLY BABY JESUS!!! I fell in love with him all over again. I don't normally find myself daydreaming about blond-haired-blue-eyed-muscle-men, but Daniel Craig is one fiiiiiiinnnnneee exception. And he's one evil little tease of a tart. Here's some eye candy from the movie for you (god knows I'll be looking at these pics like 55 times today). Oh, and by the way, the movie was AWE-SOME. Go see it.


























































I would give my left kidney to be this woman!!

Gotta go. It's getting too hot in here.


THE DAILY SASS:

"Jerry, this is the way society functions. Aren't you a part of
society? Because if you don't want to be a part of society, Jerry, why don't
you just get in your car and move to the East Side!" - Cosmo Kramer

19 comments:

  1. I went to college in the hippiest of all hippie towns. I fell asleep to many a drum circle. I would add that you only drink micro-brewed beer and eat lots of burritos, tofu preferably.

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  2. As a sort of hippie chick [I mean, I shave my legs, just not as often as I should...] I found this hilarious.

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  3. If you like Daniel Craig that much you should check out Layer Cake. Good movie!

    Your cluster map looks like a cherry bush.

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  4. I saw Layer Cake. Very good. And steamy.

    Don't cherries grow on trees?

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  5. Why do elephants paint their toenails red?
    So they can hide in the cherry bushes.

    Yes, I believe they do grow in trees, that would explain the tree in my back yard.

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  6. So you're saying that my ClustrMap looks like an elephant taking cover in a cherry bush???... awesome.

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  7. It's weird. I can relate to hippies, but I'm not one. Maybe it's all the weed I smoked that lends me a certain peacefulness. Although now I can't listen to Phish without having seriously bad flashbacks.

    Also, Daniel Craig is MINE! ;)

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  8. ".....evil little tease of a tart" that is the best line!! I love it. He is yummy.

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  9. It turns out there is nothing hippie about me. I hate carob, tofu, gardening and have never been to a music festival or Vermont.

    DC is definitely the sexiest Bond ever and I will let you and Gypsy have him, my Christmas gift to you.;-)

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  10. lady, Daniel Craig is so not hot. I don't see it. Am I lame?

    my parents were hippies, too. they still smoke the maryjane. SHHHHH. ;)

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  11. Lumps! Hope you had a great holiday. Have you seen DC in the James Bond movies??? If you haven't, that's why you don't see it. There's something about him kicking the crap out of bad guys while all sweaty and cut up that is beyond hot. But honestly, if you don't see it, I'm cool with that. Gypsy and I will share him. Thanks Miss Rouge!!!

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  12. god-dammit, now I'm all excited and hubby is out of town. (That is one HOT dude...)

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  13. Excellent how-to-hook-up-with-a-hippie advice. (From a former urban-granola, now quasi-granola...uh, not really.)

    Daniel Craig's melting lots of girl butter these days - maybe even a little boy butter. He's beautiful!

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  14. Daniel Craig is hotter than Georgia asphalt!

    VT to west MA to NYC? You got out alive babe.

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  15. I love that you call the 413 civilization... is that where we were??? LOL. love the hippies, they always had the best weed :)

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  16. C2+3: I love the term "girl butter"! I'm totally stealing that. Hope you don't mind.

    And yes, Comedy Goddess, I did get out alive. Although I think my love of fashion, martinis and the chaos of the city was ingrained in me at birth.

    Court: you know where it's at, girl!

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  17. MMM.... I want a Daniel Craig sandwich. YUMILICIOUS! Thank you for filling my eye candy bowl today, Sassy!
    I feel so complete!

    xoxo

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  18. Your hippy hints sound like something straight outta the seventies. Are hippies still like this? I'm so not hippified with this stuff....good you got the repressed martini-loving gene :)

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